Parents | The Early Warning Signs

How can I tell if my child is using cannabis?
Ask them. Without a direct admission from your child it is difficult to know, as although behavioural changes can be indicative of cannabis use, many of these changes are also typical of adolescence. Look for a combination of the following indications/behavioural changes:

• Attitude, behaviour and appearance deteriorate;
• energy levels drop;
• motivation decreases; (cannabis is "the who gives a shit" drug.)
• they avoid social contact with family or stay in their room for long periods of time;
• grades drop at school, as they have difficulty concentrating and are increasingly forgetful; 
• attendance at school deteriorates (truancy issues);
• they lose connectedness ie drop their hobbies, outside interests, extracurricular activities;
• change friends, as they swap their ‘non using' friends for acquaintances who ‘use'; 
• an unexplained need for money;
•  ‘lost' or stolen possessions, (this may include theft of money or possessions from family); 
• changes in eating patterns, ‘the munchies';
• aggro: everything is always someone else's fault, OR maybe wild mood swings;
• loss of soft emotion ie chuckling at humour, cuddles;
• many stop sleeping well, as they need a smoke just to sleep; 
• and increased or unusual phone calls.

Much of this is fairly normal adolescent behaviour, but if your ‘gut instinct' tells you otherwise, or

• you find the smell of marijuana smoke on their clothing (they may use deodorant to cover this);
• roll your own papers and/or drug use paraphernalia in their bedroom;
• kitchen knives that are burnt at the end;
• their eye pupils remain dilated, even in bright light; and 
• their eye whites have a glassy reddish appearance (they may use ‘clear eyes' to disguise this);

then you have good reason to be concerned.

What should I do if I find out my child is using drugs?

Stay calm - easier said than done, but over-reacting will make it much harder to find out exactly what is happening. Talk to your child when you are ready, and when they are not under the influence of the drug. Please note - they are likely to lie initially, or at least minimise the detail, but may be more willing to discuss things later if they know you are keen to listen.

Get the facts - find out which drug is being used and how often. Your child may say they have only been experimenting. Find out how often this means? Please understand that that most will understate their use considerably; partly in self denial and partly to reduce your fears.
If your child is using, then they need help to stop. Contact WellTrust or their school counsellor.

Show your concern - Make it clear that you love him/her, and because you love them you do not like him/her taking drugs. It is not helpful to moralise or preach.

Please realise that good parents everywhere have good kids who, being teenagers, try stuff. They have to. It is part of being an adolescent. For some, the once or twice experimentation goes wrong and they continue. They need help and support, not anger.

However, do not ‘enable' their drug use!

• It is better to let them face any consequences of their use than it is to bail them out. 
• They must live within their financial constraints, so don't give them extra money. 
• Make them keep reasonable rules of living in your house.
• Don't let the behaviour of the drug abuser affect and rule the emotions of everyone else.

Will my child become dependent on their drug(s) of choice?

Many worry that their child will become an addict. In fact very few go on from trying a drug or using it occasionally to becoming dependent on it. This is more problematic when they are using regularly over a period of time. But please realise that if there is a genetic predisposition to alcoholism, addiction or mental health disorders, then regular cannabis use can trigger these.

How can I make sure my child won't use drugs?

Experimenting, that is trying something a few times, is a natural part of growing up. Nearly all teenagers experiment with alcohol and tobacco. A majority will also go on to experiment with illegal drugs - 50% will have tried marijuana by age 16 and 70% have tried it by age 21.
But there are some things parents can do to make it less likely they continue to use.

How to lessen the risk.

• Your own attitude and behaviour towards alcohol, drugs, pain killers and sleeping pills has already had an effect on your children. Parents are their primary role models.
• Enjoy time together as a family and talk to your kids, even if the answers are brief. 
• Take in interest in your children's activities, their friends, and their friend's parents.
• Know where they are.
• Help them establish achievable goals in their studies, their work, their hobbies or sport. 
• Be fair, firm, consistent and honest in your dealings with them. 
• Encourage them to discuss their feelings and try to understand them. 
• Help them too, to understand your feelings. 
• Focus on the positive and help them to feel good about themselves. Tell them when they have done something well, give praise and thank them.

Be informed - you came here, so that is a good start. Be prepared to discuss drug issues openly and honestly. Visit our website and learn about drugs before talking to your children about them. Do not tell ‘scare' stories that are false. Your child may know more than you and will not take notice of anything you say if they find you are not telling the truth.

Establish some agreements about acceptable behaviour in relation to alcohol and drugs.
Don't give tacit approval to drinking alcohol and delay the onset for as long as possible. Point out that binge drinking is not healthy or wise! Get agreement that once they are drinking; they will never drive if they've been drinking or travel in a car with someone who has been drinking, rather, they will stay over, take a taxi, or call home at any time (even 3am!).

However, advise them to avoid illegal drugs. (Be clear on this - they are illegal for a good reason.)

Why do young people use drugs?

Some use drugs to relax, to help them have fun, to feel happy, or to be part of a group. Some use to cope with problems, to forget, to relieve stress, to overcome boredom... Many try, at least initially, just for curiosity or to experiment. But remember, experimenting is only once or twice. If it has continued, they need help.

Try to get your teen to appreciate that while they feel the drug is doing something good for them, there are consequences. Some of these consequences are immediate, while others are longer term and some may last forever.

Note: It is very difficult for a teenager to say ‘no' when offered a marijuana cigarette in a social setting. The part of their brain that makes wise decisions is not yet fully developed.