Parents | Tasks of Adolescence

Task - To determine one's vocation.

• This gives meaning to one's life.
• Need to acquire competence in life-skills and job skills with the aim of being self supporting.
• Embedded in a new pervasive global youth culture is an increased individualism, along with a sense of meaninglessness, where we are alone in the task of not only ‘getting a life' but in creating a meaning for that life.

• To be somebody.
• This need is best met by doing things and experiencing some success. 
• When this need is met, the teen experiences positive feelings of strength, power, and competence.
• If not met, the teen can experience feelings of being: inferior, incompetent, a failure, confused, anxious, frustrated, stupid, and disgusted with oneself.

• To achieve independence
• If not developed we may see the development of dependence on other things: a drug, the dole, abusive partner, ... (AA)

• Power struggles over curfew hours, activities, and chores are common...
• For Maori and Pacific people, it requires a level of competency to succeed cross culturally - to bridge their world view with that of the more dominant culture. Success in one world may mean conflict, confusion or compromise in the other. Eg on marae focus is on others, building relationships and interdependence.

Task - To establish one's values.

• This gives direction to one's life.
• Survival is the only value intrinsic to all human beings. It is built into us. As we grow up we learn values from people close to us: to share, to work hard, to love others as we love ourselves, to serve others, ... 
• These are imposed from the outside and must be internalised before we can start living them. Along the way, we question and challenge them.

• To go beyond - to experience the spiritual.
• This need is best met by clarifying values. We choose which values to keep & which to reject, what to believe in and how to believe.
• When this need is met, the teen experiences positive feelings of serenity, purpose and peace of mind. 
• If not met, the teen can experience feelings of being: depressed, hopeless, helpless, remorseful, despairing, guilty, and lost.

• To develop integrity
• If not developed we may see the decay of spiritual concepts/ wairua, and an increase in criminality. (AA)

• Some question the need to formally worship God.
• Some question the validity of the work ethic. 
• They have to question ...

Task - To explore one's sexuality.

• This gives a sense of community to one's life.
• It includes examining one's roots and one's relationship with both sexes.

• To belong.
• This need is best met by accepting one's maleness/femaleness.
• When this need is met, s/he experiences positive feelings of warmth, trust and at-one-ness.
• If not met, the teen can experience feelings of being: rejected, isolated, alienated, ugly, hurt and unlovable.

• To experience intimacy
• If not developed we may see self-centredness, selfishness, and manipulation. (AA)

• Some teenagers want to date early or go steady. Some have a different sexual orientation to what their parents want them to have.
• Some get involved in sexual relationships. And some prefer to spend time with friends their parents don't approve of.

Task - To establish one's authority.

• This gives uniqueness to one's life.
• It involves moving from being externally supported to be internally supported. S/he must look at her/his humaneness, believe that s/he is special, and have an internal support system.

• To be oneself.
• This need is best met by simply being.
• When this need is met, the teen experiences positive feelings of being worthwhile, free, and secure.
• If not met, the teen may feel being: insecure, fragile, embarrassed, vulnerable, awkward, scared, worthless, inadequate, and ashamed.

• To develop individuality
• If not developed we may see a young person associating with anti-social peers and getting involved in a gang culture where they feel they belong.(AA)

• Some experiment with strange or unusual dress, or hairstyles. Some have different interests or hobbies than their parent's wish they had. Some choose not to take part in family activities. And others just want to be alone, by themselves, without having to explain why.

Ref: largely from "Choices and Consequences" - Dick Schaefer. The parts in italics are adapted from various sources including ‘The Big Book of Alcoholic Anonymous'